Dec 9, 2008

A magic radio?

This is one of the coolest things I've found in a while. Go to Channels to listen to radio station-esque themed music. Or you can search by artist or song title to hear that one song that's been stuck in your head all day!

http://www.theradio.com/

Nov 24, 2008

It's harder than it sounds...

Can you name the 4 groups in under 10 minutes?

http://www.sporcle.com/games/famousfoursomes.php

It's harder than it sounds. Also, 10 minutes could give me plenty of time to Google but I chose not to and scored 61. Not too damn bad, if I do say so myself!

What were your scores?

Found on mental_floss

Nov 13, 2008

Deploy the ROLLING LIGHTNING ATTACK!




I totally stole this offline but it is fucking hilarious. The entire post can be found here: http://http://divisibleby0.com/murder/

Thanks Matthew!

Nov 11, 2008

I believe in love

This actually is the most sense that anyone has made about Prop. 8 so far. I applaud Ken Olberman for this declaration for love.

Nov 5, 2008

Historical Times in the U.S.A.

I meant what I said about being glad the damn election is over. I am so tired of thinking about it all the time, hearing about it everywhere, and listening to complete strangers rant at me about what their beliefs are. Seriously, enough.

That being said, I couldn't help that notice that another monumental thing happened other than the election of our country's first African-American President. I don't know if anyone else watched his Victory speech, but I noticed something that was said that I cannot recall ever being said by a President-Elect. He mentioned the gays. Right there in Chicago on national TV after kicking the crap out of McCain. Word up, yo.

Also, I have never seen a more gracious concession speech than McCain's. He is truly a great American. I'm just really, really glad his cryptkeeper family didn't make it into the White House. Or his beauty queen evil sidekick.

Nov 4, 2008

Stop Doing Stupid Shyt!

Happy Election Day!

Obama Pictures and McCain Pictures
see Sarah Palin pictures

Seriously, I will be so fucking glad when today is over. I am tired of this election already! I get it! It's a monumental election! But, jeez, enough already.

Nov 3, 2008

I am falling apart, man...

So, here is what I started my Monday with. First, I have had a sharp pain in my neck since Friday. You know those ones you wake up with that feel like someone is stabbing you with a million red-hot toothpicks? Yeah, I have one of those. Yeasterday I had a therapist massage it and it felt so much better. I barely felt it at all, actually. So I wake up this morning and BOOM! It's like I can't move without it seizing up! Yes, I am a big pussy. I know.

Second, my temporary crown comes loose. Again. I don't get the permanent one until Thursday and this mofo is starting to wiggle off. I didn't need a root canal on the tooth before the crowning so it has ALL THE DAMN NERVES that normal teeth do. And it is on the same side as my god damn neck pain. YIPPEE! I may actually firebomb the building today because I am a weeeeee bit cranky.

I hate Mondays. Bah!!

Oct 30, 2008

Lord of the Tse-Tse Fly!

A little-discussed phenomenon that occurs in small offices is the funny little sayings employees adopt to amuse themselves. It usually never makes sense to anyone out side of work either. You try to tell someone a delightfully funny inside joke with aniother employee and they look at you like you just shat on the table. That being said, I am going to post a blog anyway that half of you will read and say, "Why the fuck did she post such a lame blog?" Because I am bored and it will humor the hell out of me, ok?! Damn....

I have a few employees whom I have these little phrases with. They have evloved into all kinds of random goofyness throught the last year or two. For example: J* used to get annoyed by the other department next to him so he began muttering "tse-tse fly" every time you'd walk by. It was his cry for help to be led away from his area for any reason. There was also a brief period where the code name "Ice Pick" meant someone was about to die for their sheer stupidity if they didn't shut up. When that was uttered, you looked around to make sure you wouldn't get caught in the Arterial spray. We also deal in money. I'm not going to go into detail but the term ACH means a direct deposit. When M* would have a particularly crabby client call he would jokingly tell others we were going to "reverse ACH their account for" (insert random $ amount here.) Somehow along this track they have mutated into a billion different variations of funny little phrases that mean nonesense. Not that this is a problem, or so I thought, until one day this week.

I was standing by the fax daydreaming about some soup I was gonna have for lunch later. I was barely listening to the conversations around me when I heard the following over a five minute period:

M: "I am gonna reverse ACH that man's tse-tse fly!"
J: "Make sure you get his Ice Pick while you're at it!"
M: "Hallo?"
J: *whispered* "tse-tse flies"
M: "Halloooooo?"
J: *loudly* "TSE-TSE FLIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

I realized that if any of our client's walked around our office, they would think a bunch of retards handle their money! Seriously. I tried to explain that to M* & J* but they just thought it was hilarious. I tried to reason with them that maybe we should cut it out a little. Their reply was "Ok. We'll try." Satisfied, I walked away towards my desk. Somewhere in the distance behind me I heard a whispered, "You are totally Lord of the Tse-Tse fly."

Oct 23, 2008

DIE YOU PARASITIC MOFOS!

So, some of you guys know that I have been battling (and losing, I might add) the fight against fleas. They got in a few months ago and it has been a crushing victory for the fleas vs. moi. NO MORE I SAY! I took the day off and took my cat to the vet to be thouroughly dipped, squirted and shot full of flea cryptonite. In the meantime I have fogged my whole house. That is some bullshit, by the way. You have to stay out of your house for 3 hours. Now, if I had a DOG and not a CAT this would be a no brainer. Go to the park, hang out at petsmart, or basically find something to do with a dog for the time. Yeah, well, my cat's fat ass isn't gonna do any of that because...well...he's a cat. So we basically sat in my car for 2 hours. I read my book and he licked his asshole in my passenger seat. I was bored out of my mind and I am quite sure my cat's asshole is now free of any pesky debris.

I have made it back in, aired out the house and have conquered cleaning the spare bedroom, the kitchen (sort of) and the bathroom. I still have the 3 major rooms left. Let us not forget that I now have to wash ALL of my clothes. This means another exciting adventure to the most ghetto laundrymat on the planet with two rolls of quarters. I hope I don't get mouth sores just from walking into that place!

I decided to take a break. I am indulging in ice water and sickeningly sweet Cherry Sours. Oh, an blogging. Just needed a break before I am engulfed in cleaning the bedroom. I may never come out of there alive. Seriously, I think some bums hang out in my closet, shooting dice and stabbing junkie hookers. Well, no more putting off the inevitable. I'm off to vacuum up dead flea carcasses now. And check on the status of Tom (and his clean a-hole). Talk to you later. Peace out, biotches.

PS - Maybe not such a good idea to take nasal decongestants right before I started this journey. I've been wandering around like a crackhead all day. :)

Get away from her, you BITCH!

I recently asked a friend this question:

If you could be any movie CHARACTER (regardless of gender/life form/etc.) who would you be and why?

I liked his answer so much. It was perfect. But I digress. He then asked me what character I would be. I've been thinking about it and I have decided I would like to be Ellen Ripley. Now, let me explain why before you all decide I am insane.

First, she is a fierce, strong, commanding woman. This is always a plus as far as I am concerned. But at the same time she can be surprisingly gentle and motherly as seen in Aliens. She can handle just about anything that is thrown at her because she has to. She can control her emotions and be counted on to get through most anything (unless she is busy flinging herself off some ledge to her death)!

Second, she has a strong sense of self and a tremendous moral compass. While she is not above bending or outright breaking a rule it is always because it is necessary. She can be impetuous but for the most part she is very rational.

Third, she looks fucking good with a big ass gun strapped to her. And she comes back part alien and gets to kick some ass! Plus, she totally gets to have a thing with Corporal Hicks (a.k.a. Michael Biehn). Hell yeah!

Moving On Up!

Howdy! I always kept my blogs on Myspace but have realized that once you have too many of your employees friended to you, they begin to see that as a manager, I really don't do dick. So, i am moving all my blogging to here! Yea for me! In honor of my new blog, I thought I'd scavenge some of my better ones from Myspace and post here to get it started. More to follow!