A little-discussed phenomenon that occurs in small offices is the funny little sayings employees adopt to amuse themselves. It usually never makes sense to anyone out side of work either. You try to tell someone a delightfully funny inside joke with aniother employee and they look at you like you just shat on the table. That being said, I am going to post a blog anyway that half of you will read and say, "Why the fuck did she post such a lame blog?" Because I am bored and it will humor the hell out of me, ok?! Damn....
I have a few employees whom I have these little phrases with. They have evloved into all kinds of random goofyness throught the last year or two. For example: J* used to get annoyed by the other department next to him so he began muttering "tse-tse fly" every time you'd walk by. It was his cry for help to be led away from his area for any reason. There was also a brief period where the code name "Ice Pick" meant someone was about to die for their sheer stupidity if they didn't shut up. When that was uttered, you looked around to make sure you wouldn't get caught in the Arterial spray. We also deal in money. I'm not going to go into detail but the term ACH means a direct deposit. When M* would have a particularly crabby client call he would jokingly tell others we were going to "reverse ACH their account for" (insert random $ amount here.) Somehow along this track they have mutated into a billion different variations of funny little phrases that mean nonesense. Not that this is a problem, or so I thought, until one day this week.
I was standing by the fax daydreaming about some soup I was gonna have for lunch later. I was barely listening to the conversations around me when I heard the following over a five minute period:
M: "I am gonna reverse ACH that man's tse-tse fly!"
J: "Make sure you get his Ice Pick while you're at it!"
J: *whispered* "tse-tse flies"
J: *loudly* "TSE-TSE FLIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
I realized that if any of our client's walked around our office, they would think a bunch of retards handle their money! Seriously. I tried to explain that to M* & J* but they just thought it was hilarious. I tried to reason with them that maybe we should cut it out a little. Their reply was "Ok. We'll try." Satisfied, I walked away towards my desk. Somewhere in the distance behind me I heard a whispered, "You are totally Lord of the Tse-Tse fly."