As a person who enjoys large quantities of barley-filled deliciousness, I found these quotes highly amusing! Enjoy.
1. "Being drunk is a good disguise. I get drunk so I can talk to assholes. This includes me." - Jim Morrison
2. "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The problem is I can never remember if it's the 13th or the 14th one." - George Burns
3. "The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober." - William Butler Yeats
4. "A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive." - Demetri Martin
5. "Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!" - Dave Atell